You're going out in that?!

I'll preface this with a simple opinion that I don't believe I'm particularly offbeat when it comes to my fashion choices. I just wear what I like. Even though there are aspects of styles I love - like my love of rockabilly swing dresses, I couldn't ever be purist enough to be just one thing. There is something nice abut being eclectic, which has led to this post in support of all us not-so-fashionistas out there.

Growing up and a bit after I have always been told the same thing: people don't always like my clothes. Admittedly, I have sometimes worn outrageously strange things (okay, less Lady Gaga than you're thinking) and I also tend to buy a lot on sale, so lots of people weren't too keen on things I liked. Whatever, I can live with that.

Things I have run into a lot have included the following statements and how I kind of dealt with them. Being a sensitive soul, I haven't forgotten these, but water off a duck's back (quack quack).

Are you really going out in that?
The simple answer is 'yes, yes I am'. If yyou're leaving your house, you can also politely suggest that the person saying this is not being seen with you, so what's the issue?

My parents used to say this a lot, and a lot of it was because they hated that I was singled out a lot while I was in Year 11 by a group for jerky guys and a lone ranger. They really really meant well, but nothing quite like adding to your teenager self esteem issues by inflicting the dreaded curse of 'I so don't want you to wear that'. Other people have said that to me as well... but, meh, who cares!

I would feel so overdressed if I wore that!
This says so much more about the person saying it than it does about you. The first time this happened I was wearing jeans, a long faux leather jacket (man, I loved that thing) and a jumper I loved. And it was mid winter.

The conversation that followed at the time was something like this:
Lisa: I kind of wear this all the time, so I don't feel weird at all.
Friend: But we're just going shopping.
Lisa: Oh, well, I've seen you wear similar things before at church.
Friend: But it's church, you're supposed to dress up.
Lisa: Okay, cool. *goes at looks at some homewares*

"Dressing up" often means very different things to different people, that's why we have dress codes for social events. For me, I would much rather be overdressed than under dressed. What makes me feel amazing isn't always the same for someone else. And who doesn't want to feel amazing all the time. Simply put, I don't feel amazing in trackies. So, I don't wear them, unless I'm exercising in some form.

Having said all of the these things, I don't care if someone is dressed up or down if I am the opposite. A lot of this is to do with being married to Stephen who wears a lot of sports stuff because that's always what he has worn and he actually plays a whole heap of sport. So sometimes one or the other will say 'if you're wearing that, is it okay if I wear this?' Usually the answer is yes. As it should be.

You don't own sneakers?
For a few years I didn't own a pair of sneakers. I had some really old ones I would wear camping, but I mostly just wore Doc Martens with everything, and in summer I would wear slides. What did I even need sneakers for? I still don't know. I eventually got some real shoes for gym when I first started having problems with my feet, but I hate wearing them and only do so for exercise and Girl Guide stuff.

I have more shoes now, but to be honest, other than my Docs and a pair of red glittery heels, I couldn't care less about what is on my feet, as long as it is comfy.

Your dress/jeans/shirt is loud/hideous/doesn't suit you
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard this, I would be able to retire.

Why do people feel the need to share their thoughts? If you don't like it, who cares?

The simple, "well, I like it" usually suffices in all these moments. And, most people around this rude person are probably thinking 'Okay, who actually says that?' I like most people, and I even like the people who have said they don't like what I have chosen to wear. There are clothes I don't like or think look good. For example, I hate overalls, I hate trackies, I hate fluoro colours. I don't say these things to the people actually wearing it.

My favourite moment about this is as follows:
Lisa: You haven't said anything about my shirt.
Guy: I just really hate orange.
Lisa: Fine, you want me to go home and change?
Guy: If you want to, sure.

I went home and changed, and I vowed never to say anything so silly again.

Stripes?! What were you thinking?
I am a bit of a fan of Tess Munster who wears a lot of things that your average plus sized woman doesn't usually wear. She once posted a piccie of herself in a striped skirt and one of the followers wrote 'Darling, stripes are not our friend.'

I know exactly what she means - just like black slims you down, horizontal stripes give you curves where you don't even have any. Despite this, I still like stripes, and I don't want to discount them just because it might make me look a little bit more round.

The other problem with patterns and print is that it the pattern, especially if it is a stretch fabric, contours to your body, so a polka dot dress might have the small size dots when you're not wearing it, but different sized dots when you are.

Stripes and spots and patterns are all okay, if you feel comfortable wearing them.




In case you haven't worked it out, my standard response to all of these 'complaints' is 'I like it, I thought it was cool, they look awesome on...' and so on. Turn it back into a positive. If I can do it, absolutely anybody can.